Child Custody Disputes: Understanding Custodial Arrangements
Divorce is painful for everyone, but it is exponentially more painful if you and your spouse have minor children together. Even couples who secretly wish to make each other miserable and blame each other for the breakup of the marriage want to avoid causing preventable stress for their children. You have probably heard about hideously ugly legal battles over child custody, but while co-parenting is often a contentious issue in divorce cases, just as it is with parents who are still married to each other and still live together, cases where the parties spend years in court trying to determine parenting time are the exception to the rule. Furthermore, co-parenting is not a zero-sum game. From a legal perspective, it is also temporary; even though your relationship with your children continues after they reach adulthood, the court’s involvement in this relationship does not. A Whittier child custody lawyer can help you formalize a parenting plan where you get a fair share of parenting time.
Think Co-Parenting, Not Child Custody
Plenty of parents in the process of divorce have confided in their friends and in their therapists about their fears of losing custody of their children. Judges in restraining order cases have reviewed voicemails and text messages in which the petitioner’s ex threatens to persuade the court to take away the petitioner’s children. Once you look past the unfiltered emotions, case law shows that the parent who gets custody of the children is both of them, and custody does not even mean what most people think it does.
In a co-parenting relationship, the parents agree to how they will divide legal custody, which is the authority to make decisions about the children’s upbringing, and parenting time, which is the distribution of overnights per year that the children spend with each parent. All divorced couples who have minor children together must have a court-ordered parenting plan. You can modify the parenting plan as many times as you need to, but it remains in effect until the youngest child reaches adulthood. Parents who have never been legally married to each other can also petition the court to issue a court-ordered parenting plan; a parenting plan is a prerequisite for a child support order.
Most of the Time, the Parents Choose the Timesharing Schedule
Many a hate-filled YouTube channel has as its catalyst a parenting plan decision that displeased the owner of the YouTube channel and caused him to declare war on the family courts in retaliation for their perceived war on fathers. In fact, the chances are more likely than not that the judge’s role in your parenting plan will be simply to sign a document that you and your ex-spouse, with the help of your lawyers, have drafted.
When a couple files for divorce, the court orders them to attend mediation to determine a property settlement. If they have minor children together, they must also draft a parenting plan. For most couples, it is obvious which parent should have parenting time on school nights; you and your ex know your respective work situations and which family members are available to assist with childcare. The other details, such as how to apportion parenting time during Thanksgiving break, are minor enough that your lawyers can usually help you negotiate to reach an agreement.
Factors That Influence Judges’ Decisions About Parenting Time
If your case goes to trial, the judge will decide the aspects of the parenting plan on which you and your ex cannot agree. When deciding which parent gets more parenting time, these are some factors it considers:
- Causing as little disruption as possible to the children’s schedules and living situation
- Ensuring that the children have a stable relationship with both sides of the family, so it will count against you if you badmouth your ex in front of your children
- Whether each parent has a documented history of ensuring the children’s consistent school attendance and medical and dental care
- Whether either parent has a history of domestic violence, drunk driving, or illicit drug use
The court cannot count it against you that you are male, agnostic, bisexual, vegetarian, or any other personal characteristic. You have the right to be yourself, and you are still your children’s parent, whether your ex likes it or not.
Contact the Law Offices of Omar Gastelum About Parenting Plans
An estate planning attorney can help you and your former spouse agree to the terms of a parenting plan. Contact the Law Offices of Omar Gastelum and Associates APLC in Whittier, California, to set up a consultation.
A Whittier family law attorney can help you and your ex-spouse draft or modify a parenting plan so you can get enough parenting time.
